Not Who I Think I Am

I like to think that I'm analytical, that I have some depth of understanding, that I have some intellectual capacity that sometimes allows me to "rise above".

Apparently, I'm not.

I continue to be surprised by how much external factors affect me. The weather. Bad news. Other people.

And I continue to be surprised when those simple-minded mind tricks (good posture leads to good attitude, tell yourself something good, and all those other things - see any of the hundreds of self-help books) work on me. And even while I know they work, I often feel compelled to reject them, and stay stuck.

Gray day, gray outlook.